I couldn’t explain the deep seated resentment in our cultural landscape against women. No matter what we looked at, good women, bad women, men resented women in all forms and sizes; behaviors. No woman was sexy enough, good enough, trustworthy enough. This puts the female gender on notice, improve yourself or you will find no love. The only good woman is a dead woman.
This is what women are most afraid of. Loosing the love. The slim chance of male protection. This is the H-bomb of our psyche.
Take the male collage students at Yale, they started last year by chanting all over campus “No means yes, yes means anal.”
While this was establishing their entitlement to sex with unwilling women, the fact that they chanted it together with each other, young men, their brains were actually having sex with each other. Chanting this walking together, in their male power, the young men substituted chanting for actually having sex with each other. But the brain is having sex just by thinking about sex, together thinking about sex. It is sex. Many many young men at collage age are latent homosexuals, which is dangerous to women.
Women would prefer that men came out and had sex with each other, and not parade around chanting offensive stuff. The reason for my conclusion is the word “anal”. Anal is not what young women are dreaming about when they think of intimacy. Women think of sex as the culmination of an emotional surge, and coming together with love and aroused body. But “anal” is most important in homosexual contact, in man on man love.
So if you want to have sex with men, why scare the ladies?
It’s a deflecting technique, scaring women is “manly” hence they are not homosexuals. But you cannot block the unconscious brain. So here the anger against women comes from the fact that having sex with girls is seen as normal, but anal is not. They need to loudly claim it. Because they are closet gays. And pissed off about it too. This is just one example.
I remember when I was still in elementary school in Budapest, the boys would wait at the exit door of the school with their snowballs with a stone wrapped into it. And when the girls were streaming out after school, the boys would pelt us with stones and snow in our faces, at our heads. It hurt. It drew blood sometimes. One time a friend of mine was hit in the temple and she fell down unconscious. And this happened a long time ago in the fifties. Hating women is still fashionable. It’s manly. It’s a proof of masculinity to each other. It’s a male affirmation.
There seems to be an uninterrupted sentiment against girls and women from the male gender. Feminism’s emergence only frustrated this. Men accused feminists of male bashing. But pimp culture is female bashing, on a grand scale. Complaining about it, bringing it up, exposing it is “male bashing.” The gender wars must be fought off camera, off printed matter. Never discussed in public. Its humanities dirty laundry, hating our women, the creators and nurturers of everybody walking one Earth.
The male gender is gender conscious, “us boys together” against the other gender. Women are human identified, not so much gender identified. They should be.
Why are we universally hated by the male gender? What have we as a female gender done to merit such lack of respect? Nothing.
Who ever solves this puzzle should get a Peace Price.
Here are some of my ideas.
When I asked Starhawk what she thought about this, she said, “Oh, they don’t hate women, they hate what we stand for. Peace.”
The fear is, if they take on mother’s values, they will be beaten and rejected by their fellow males. So they feel that their very gender identity depends on rejecting females as deeply as the law allows. Often even beyond. No males are allowed to love female values. If you assume female values of peace, cooperation, communication, men will loose their fury little balls. They will loose rape culture. War culture.
But later in dating age, males choose their own females whom they exempt from the universal fear/hatred . “My girl,” they say, “is different. I am allowed to love her.” Many also love their mothers, female relatives. Bless them.
But never the females as gender.
Here is a new reason for resentment. Mother nature makes a lot of males want sex with the women. In spite of the general attitude of “don’t trust women” men are made to conform, have to make concessions with women. This is culturally resented. Now they “need” women, that’s another bother. When there is a family, and there is a divorce, men are made to pay child support.
More reason to resent women. Men don’t see why they have to pay for a child they fathered. They imagine the mother would abuse this and spend the money on herself. Since she is no longer “his” wife, back into the hated gender with her. Hence withholding the money from families is justified.
The reasons to hate/not trust women is multiplying.
I have given a short speech at an Interfaith conference to women who were from many different spiritual traditions. After we heard all the wrongs that women found with their male god religions, I suggested to change their inner-life and switch to the omnipresent Goddess, a Great Mother.
Some heterosexual women were aghast. “I am not ready to throw the men under the bus!” One woman exclaimed.
She was defending the entire male gender, which in her mind was the same as the male god.
As I said it would have taken a lot more time, which I was not given, to explain the difference between men as a gender and the male god. But its very telling, how they have now been intertwined in the minds of such good women.
God is male, and men are gods.
This is the at crux of it all.
Religion long ingrained into our impressionable psyches, since childhood, declared that anything male is sacred, anything female is suspicious and subordinate. Weak. Hence dangerous to men who would loose their edge; their “balls.”
So the genders represent the opposing views of how to live on earth.
Women feel they need peace to raise children and civilization which includes commerce, the arts.
Men are lied to, and told that peace and civilization building are all utopian fantasies of women. Getting young men killed and maimed and then ignored, kicked to the curb, jobless and homeless,… yes that’s the male ticket. Glorious male self created doom. Why still cling to it? Because what if other men attack us? Then what? Who would defend us?
The women fall quiet, because the answer is that globally women would demand an end to violence, ending wars altogether. Globally. This would require a very sophisticated Sisterhood. We are very far from that dream. But feminism is now global, the media allowed the women to see each others plight, and our own compassion is finally released to ourselves.
There won’t be anybody else’s sons rising in wars against us. Could that ever happen? Sisterhood could make it come alive.
In Texas this year, no less then 50 bills were introduced against women; all aimed to make it more difficult to get medical help. Fifty bills, not about jobs, but taking away women’s rights . Think about it, legislators obsessed with hating women, day and night creating newer and newer bills to promote the lessening of rights of more than half of Americans; female Americans.
These male lawmakers need to be recalled.
Women need to elect each other with careful consideration to replace them. Let common sense and civility be brought back. And if it never was, women must invent it.
Just an other thing on our laundry list.